There. It is out.
We've been able to confirm that the Pope's ring has been stolen.
Ironically, the Dream Team was no less than five miles away in Rome.
The Italian people are outraged that the Tornado was able to pull this off...
...right under their noses.
Mr. Clouseau.
Mr. Pepperidge, was the Dream Team sleeping last night during the theft?
No comment.
Do you think they will ever recover the ring?
If I made a comment after I'd said, "No comment,"
I'd look like a complete ass, wouldn't I?
Do not worry. Vicenzo Roccara Squarcialupi Brancaleone...
...swears to you by all that is holy...
...that St. Peter's ring will be restored to the Church.
Please sit down.
Now, Mr. Pope...
...do you happen to know right now the whereabouts of your hat?
- My hat? - Yes, your big, pointy hat.
No, I don't know.
Then I am probably sitting on it. I thought I felt a little...
This can be fixed.
As good as new.
Now...
How do we know it wasn't you who stole the ring...
...so you could collect on the insurance money?
- I am the Pope. - Forgive me, Mr. Pope...
...it's just that sometimes when I speak so forcefully...
...people just crack instantly. Now, was the ring insured?
The ring is priceless. It cannot be insured.
- So you had no reason to steal the ring. - I own the ring.
Perhaps you wanted to sell the ring so you could live in a big, fancy house.
I kind of do.
Now, let me reconstruct the crime. You came into the room when?
- At 9:00. - And what was the first thing you did?
I went out on the balcony to admire the Lord's handiwork.
The moon that night was so beautiful. It made me close to the Lord.
I'm picking up on something. You're a very spiritual man, aren't you?
It's part of my job to read people. I think I'm quite good at it, too.
- And then what did you do? - I removed my robes.
- And you put them... - In the closet.
- May I? - Certainly.
You know, if you organized your closets by color...
...it would save you time in your rush to get to work in the morning.
It's what I do, and it saves me time.
Now, in order to better visualize the crime...
I'm going to place myself in your position.
- With your permission. - Certainly.
So, I come home, it's 9:00 p. M. "I think I'll go look at the moon".
I am going out onto the balcony.
I walk out on the balcony. I am now out on the balcony.
I am looking at the moon. I am looking at the moon.
I'm feeling very, very spiritual. I come back in.
- And what did you do next? - I went out for the second time.
You went out a second time to look at the moon.
It's the Pope.
Looking at the moon, 18 seconds has gone by.
18 seconds is enough time for the thief to have gained entrance.
Now, you see why it is important to re-create the events.
Or perhaps the thief was hiding in a ledge or recess.
Or perhaps he was clinging to the underside of the...
Thank you, God. Thank you.
Chief Inspector, Joubert wants to speak to you.
He wants Clouseau off the case.
- No! - No?
No, let's wait till he does something really embarrassing.
Home.
- Surprise attack! - Surprise attack!
- Not now, I'm depressed. - Perfect for our advantage.
The secret to an attack is the element of surprise, remember?
Now I will teach you who is the karate master.
Now watch what I will do to your head.
Now, Antoine.
Let's talk about this, boys.
Come, little ones. All is forgiven.
Ponton, can we see Clouseau?
Is the French idiot home?
How does he feel about his disgrace?
Inspector Clouseau is the consummate professional.
He always exhibits grace under pressure.
Die, little piglets!
My God, do you understand what you have done that is wrong?
- Just remind me. - You cannot beat up children...
- And call them piglets. - The world is changing so fast.
Inspector, you have failed to improve at every opportunity.
You are the most small-minded nitwit I have ever encountered.
- I am sure I can do better. - Very well, we'll give you one more try.
I'm going to hold up a series of images, and I want you to tell me what you see.
Just say the first thing that comes into your mind.
A drunken Irishman.
An Englishman with bad teeth.
A San Francisco Nancy boy.
A Polish army officer driving a septic tank.
Where did you get these cards?
It's in every newspaper all over the world. We're all being made to look like idiots.
Reputations built up over a lifetime utterly ruined.
I had to quit being a Buddhist because I feel so much hate.
He sat on the Pope's hat!
Look, he recovered the Pink Panther once, and I believe he can do it again.
If he solves this case, I'm perfectly willing to run around for 24 hours...
...wearing nothing but a tutu and carrying a big, pink, fluffy handbag.
I say we take a vote to get rid of him. All in favor?
Whatever it is, count me in.
Clouseau, while you were falling off of the Pope's balcony...
...dressed as the Pope, I discovered a key piece of evidence.
And what is this key piece of evidence?
A key.
I found this on the Pope's bedroom floor. Something, of course, you overlooked.
That could mean anything.
But if this key is so important, I will take it and duly examine it.
Inspector Clouseau.
It is my not-so-sad duty to inform you that you have been voted off of the team.
Off the team?
You are no longer part of this investigation.
Cheerio.
Nicole.
- Nicole? - Inspector.
I was just returning a file.
What are you doing in Nicole's office?
- When I got fired... - You thought Nicole was the one person...
- You could share it with. - Well, we do go back.
Story of my life...
...the men I'm interested in aren't the ones interested in me.
Really? I would think all men would be interested in you.
- Why do you say that? - Because...
- ...you are very attractive. - I will see you in my office in five.
But really, there is no one?
Frankly speaking, the one big love of my life didn't quite work out.
You poor thing.
Nicole!
No, no, no, don't let me interrupt. I only have a message from Vicenzo.
He wants you both at this address, immediately.
He has decided he needs my expertise.
No. They've solved the case.
- What? - They've solved the case.
Inspector, welcome.
Even though we've had certain disagreements...
...we are willing to share the glory with you out of our respect for la Francia.
Pepperidge examined the key and knew right away...
...it was made by a French locksmith.
Kenji did research on the locksmiths in Paris who sell this brand.
We asked for a list of addresses and we found this apartment.
When we got here, we found the owner licking the carpet.
His name is Laurence Milliken.
And the stolen items?
The Shroud of Turin!
We should have it dry-cleaned before we return it.
The Pope's ring. His wife will be happy to have that back.
- And where is the Pink Panther? - Unfortunately, that cannot be recovered.
No Pink Panther?
- He explained in his suicide note. - Yes.
"Life had become horribly dull and uninteresting.
"Nothing matched the excitement of stealing great treasures...
"so I returned...
"but I found that even stealing no longer interested me.
"Without a purpose, I no longer wish to live.
"I am returning every treasure but one. The Pink Panther.
"Having it in my possession for even a few days...
"made me realize its fabulous beauty.
"No one must have it but me, so I destroyed it.
"The Pink Panther is dust, a final revenge."
"Laurence Milliken, the Tornado".
I spent four years researching and writing my book. I hoped to meet him alive.
The Tornado was an expert on gems and their value?
Yes, in fact, Milliken was the author...
...of the most authoritative book on the subject.
This man did not commit these crimes. The case has not been solved.
But, look, there's the wound from 10 years ago.
- I stake my reputation on it. - Well, that's not much.
- The media are outside. - Then I will announce...
- That we have solved the case. - I wouldn't.
- I will. - I wouldn't do it.
- I am going to. - I wouldn't.
I am delighted to announce that we have found II Tornado.
The dead man in the apartment...
...is indubitably the perpetrator of these crimes.
Actually, one of us disagrees with this hypothesis.
I am sure that Milliken is not the thief.
Hold it. We're getting the report on the DNA evidence.
The DNA taken from the body of Laurence Milliken today...
...and the DNA taken 10 years ago from the blood of the Tornado...
...are a 100% match.
The man inside is the Tornado.
I'd like to thank my colleagues for their assistance...
...and especially one of your own here in la Francia.
My most heartfelt appreciation to Nicoletta.
You are a beacon of light in a forest of darkness.
Nicole is no less a thief than II Tornado because she has stolen this.
Your mama is here.
Say goodbye to Uncle Jacques.
- Goodbye, Uncle Jacques. - We love you, Uncle Jacques.
You are two fine, young, little pig persons.
- Goodbye, Papa. - Goodbye.
- When will you be coming home, Papa? - I'm not sure.
Goodbye.
Well, Ponton, we are two available men alone in Paris...
...the most exciting city in the world.
How should we spend our evening?
- What sort of shampoo is this? - Jojoba.
- Jojoba.
Let me see the bottle.
- It's spelled "Jojoba". - It's pronounced "Hohoba".
It's spelled "Jojoba," but it's pronounced "Hohoba".
- "Hohoba". - Why would they do something like that?
Well, Ponton, I think our bachelor night is going very well. Who needs women?
I'm going back home to my wife and children.
- What? What brought this on? - You. I don't wish to end up... I mean...
I have decided that love and family must not come second.
If I may, Inspector, look what that thinking has done for you.
What? I'm very happy living alone with my various shampoos.
Inspector, I still think you are the best detective in the world.
Yet, when it comes to love, you never see what is staring you right in the face.
Take Nicole, for example. Do you know the color of her eyes?
Her pet's name? Her favorite song?
You can recite an entire section of every statute in French criminal law...
...but you don't know the first thing about the woman who loves you.
Her eyes are brown.
She loves the smell of vanilla.
She's allergic to shellfish.
She has a small scar on her ankle, which I gave her.
She loves her cats, Mindy and Wendy...
...and Cindy, Delores, Frank, Maxime, Caligula and Louise.
And she does not think she is pretty.
And I can never tell her she is pretty.
- Otherwise... - Otherwise what?
If she knew how pretty she is, she might choose someone other than me.
- Ponton. - Yes?
I need a hug.
Okay.
And now, conditioner.
After more than a decade, the infamous Tornado has finally been unmasked.
Thanks to the work of the international Dream Team.
Their success is being celebrated tonight in a very exclusive event.
Let's go live now to the Petit Palais in Paris, where the gala is underway.
So, tell us about the case.
This was really not one of my most challenging cases.
I'm surprised it even took us this long...
My powers of observation are so finely tuned by this point...
...that just one look at any situation, and ideas come flooding into me.
Modern technology makes the modern criminal obsolete.
And what about the Pink Panther?
- Too bad it was destroyed. - Yes, we're very sorry about that.
Three out of four isn't bad.
-75%. - Yes, brilliant.
- Inspector. - Miss Solandres.
- Quite a snarl here. - Yes, I know.
A spot just opened up. Take it. I'll watch the meter for you.
- Nice car. - It's a rental.
I figured Paris, excitement, romance, you know.
- I'm leaving Paris tonight, on the redeye. - Bon voyage.
Goodbye, Inspector.
- You know Mrs. Dreyfus? - Yes, sir.
Well, let me know immediately if she arrives.
- Nicole. - Yes.
- I thought you might be hungry. - Well...
- That is very thoughtful of you. - Cute car.
It's Miss Solandres' car.
- Well, it's a little chilly out here, so... - Nicole?
You are very pretty.
Well, that's odd. Some would say I was drab and disgusting.
Well, who in their right mind could call you drab and disgusting?
Whoever could say something like that, would...
I said it.
- He told you? - Yes, he did.
I only said it because I didn't want him to...
To what?
To fall in love with you.
I don't know what to think.
- Ponton speaking. - Ponton, here's what I want you to do.
I'm thinking of recommending...
...the establishment of a permanent international police force...
...which, of course, I would be prepared to command.
Excuse me.
- What? - I have solved the case.
The case has been solved, Clouseau. That is why we're having the party...
...you see, because we've solved the case.
Are you all right, Chief Inspector?
- It's clueless Clouseau again. - Is he here?
He's so desperate to regain his status as the Pink Panther hero...
...that he's come up with the most ingenious theory.
- What theory? - That you are the thief.
Me?
And that you have the Pink Panther here with you.
Now I'm feeling guilty.
I've been feuding with a man who is mentally handicapped.
For one thing, how could Sonia have performed the theft in Rome?
We were all there together.
Actually, the rest of us were all at the bar.
If you recall, Miss Solandres stayed home with a headache.
Well, that's right, but...
But where would you get the expertise for these crimes?
Well, she is the world's foremost authority on II Tornado.
Just as a parlor game, what if she obtained this expertise directly from...
What if she were his daughter?
- No, that wouldn't... - A lover.
- Yes, a scorned lover. - Better. Motive.
That would explain stealing the unfenceable items...
- To direct attention... - To II Tornado.
So she can bring him out of hiding and set him up as the perpetrator.
- Then she could kill him, forge a note... - And keep the Pink Panther.
As Clouseau said, the one fenceable item.
Congratulations, gentlemen, a very diverting and amusing puzzle...
...solved in two minutes.
Bravo.
Open your purse.
Nicoletta, you misunderstand. This is a game, an exercise.
Yes, but just to complete the game, let's have a look.
I have a plane to catch.
Seriously, gentlemen!
Okay, let's get this over and done with.
Oh, my God! He was right.
Stop! I am the one you want, not her.
Only I possess the evidence that will keep you in prison for the rest of your life.
So if you're going to shoot anyone, shoot me.
Okay.
Perhaps I did not think that through.
Jacques!
I wish I'd shot him.
Look, his Medal of Honor absorbed the bullet.
- What? - Not exactly.
The bullet ricocheted and killed the waiter.
Where's Sonia?
She mustn't escape. I'll stop her.
Get back.
That gun is pointless. There are four of us, and you only have four bullets left.
That doesn't add up.
All right, I'm warning you, Miss Solandres, I've got a...
Spoon?
I've got a knife.
Stop. You cannot escape.
- You don't have a match. - That's right.
Never use an elevator during a fire.
Fire? Leave this to me.
In the name of the statutes and laws of the great nation of France...
...you are under arrest for the theft of the world's most priceless...
You are under arrest!
Let me go, or I will destroy it.
- Let her go. - Let her do it.
Are you insane?
Good work, Ponton.
You moron! You twerp! You sad excuse for a human being!
You have just destroyed the sacred symbol of France!
- Ponton, did you bring what I asked for? - Boys.
- Here it is, Uncle Jacques. - Yes, yes.
I knew the Tornado would eventually come after the Pink Panther.
So I went to the musée with a simple plan in mind.
I had convinced my old friend, Robert the night guard...
...to turn off the security system for the few moments necessary...
...to save the most beautiful object in France.
I then switched the Pink Panther with the replica I had at home.
This is the real Pink Panther.
It was the fake that was stolen.
Nightmare. Nightmare.
And when the Tornado, an expert on the quality of gems...
...wrote in his supposed suicide note of its great beauty...
I knew he could never have been the thief. He would have recognized it as a fake.
How did you figure out it was Sonia?
It was because I spent the last 17 months on parking duty.
What?
Today, I was staring at Miss Solandres' license plate.
I recognized it because of my unique system of cross-referencing.
I became aware that I had given a ticket to the same car...
...two days before Miss Solandres claimed she arrived in Paris.
One day before the Pink Panther was stolen.
You followed my instructions very well, Clouseau.
It was I, of course, who put Clouseau onto the parking ticket assignment.
- Isn't that so, Inspector? - No.
And at Avellaneda's mansion...
...when I sensed the presence of the Tornado...
...he was there, all right.
But it was not a he, it was a she!
Clouseau is the greatest detective in the world.
His mind is sharper than all of us combined.
- Should we tell him? - Absolutely not.
Inspector Clouseau.
Sometimes a man must be bold enough to speak from the heart.
You deserve to know the truth about Nicole and I.
- Stop. I don't want to hear. - But nothing happened.
- Nothing? - Nothing.
- It pains me to admit, but no. - Not even a little smoochie-woochie?
I never had a chance, because she only has eyes for one man.
You.
Yes, you. Now please, for God's sake, kiss her already.
Nicole, I have learned that...
...no man is an island.
So would you, even though it may lead to possible injury...
...marry me?
Inspector Dreyfus, thank you again for agreeing to conduct the ceremony.
It makes everything that much more special.
Jacques Clouseau and Nicole Durant.
Do you promise to love, honor and obey...
Wait! A wife does not have to obey her husband.
Okay, scrap "obey". Do you promise to love and honor each other?
- I do. - I do.
Good! So by the powers vested in me...
...as Chief Inspector of the 13th Arrondissement...
I now declare you husband and wife.
Here's to peace and harmony.
- The password? - Hamburger!
That's not it.
- Hamburger! - No!
They must have changed it. Clouseau, your gadget!
Clouseau, what's the new password?
It says "low battery".
- Low battery. - No!
No, wait. That means the battery is low.
It wants me to go online and renew my subscription.
- For God's sake, Clouseau! - Kenji, please take care of this.
We have a plane to catch.
- Was it beautiful? - Very beautiful.
- Here are your glasses. - Thanks.
Wait.
- Was my mother there? - Yes, absolutely!
- Can't you hear her screaming? - Not really.